Mea Culpa HOW COULD I HAVE DONE THIS? BY BILL MCCOLLOM
Finish Line
I’m starting to worry about the absence of snow and cold temperatures here in the Northeast. Let me rephrase that. I’m in full-fledged panic-mode! It’s bad enough that lettuce is still growing in
my garden (I’m not making this up) and the golf courses are bright
green, but what makes matters worse is that I’m responsible. Yes,
it’s my fault the early season races have been canceled, skiing
has been reduced to a few meager strips of snow on trails sprinkled with rocks, and the snowmaking crews at most ski areas are
hanging out drinking coffee and playing cribbage. I’m still clinging
to a thread of hope, however, that perhaps it’s not too late to turn
things around.
It all started with a late October snowstorm. Our area received only
a paltry six inches, but I thought: “Yeow, this is it! The earliest ski
season in years is upon us.” I made snow angels, threw snowballs,
and gazed lovingly at my stash of skis in the basement. I should
have known better, but I bought in hook, line and sinker.
Usually, I have my guard up against the early head-fakes that
Mother Nature throws our way. The rules for ensuring a good start
to the season dictate: don’t get too excited about a bit of prema-
ture winter bluster, harbor no expectations, and do not change your
winter-prep routines that have worked successfully in the past. For
example, I change my snow tires only after I can’t slither out of our
driveway anymore, and I don’t get around to cleaning the furniture
off the deck until it’s knee-deep in snow.
It pains me to reveal my folly, and believe me when I say this
weighs heavy on my conscience, but in early November I made the
tragic mistake of getting my snow tires put on and removing all the
furniture from the deck. “How could you have done this?” you ask.
I can offer no explanation.
Friends have tried to comfort me by saying I shouldn’t worry about
things I can’t control. I counter with the argument that worriers
should never restrict their worries when there are so many things
to worry about. Besides, just who’s to say what’s beyond our con-
trol? I’m convinced that we’re able to affect all sorts of things that
many think outside our influence. The most glaring example is the
weather.
afternoon it poured, and guess who was found suffering from hy-
pothermia, doing laps on the chairlift? That would be you, and yes,
you should be held responsible for everyone’s misfortune. It’s a rule
— always pack rain gear, especially when you think you don’t need
it.
